Fun, inexpensive kid craft: button necklaces

Posted in Melody, Misc by

I love buttons. And I’m one of those people who has a difficult time getting rid of something useful. So, I have a rather….extensive button collection. I persuaded my mother to give me hers when she was paring down last year, and the first night I had them, I sat in my sewing room just looking at them and touching them like a thief caresses illicit jewels. I’ve harbored dreams of making a button collage or mosaic one day, but I’m not a very good artist. But yesterday, yesterday I found something to do with some of the larger buttons that is fun and makes my Melody very happy. 

We made button necklaces.

With a little bit of 1/8″ or 1/4″ ribbon, a tapestry needle and some large buttons, you and your wee one will be happily making necklaces in no time! I had Melody pick out several of the very large buttons, 1 1/4″ ones, all sorts of odd colors since they are from my mom’s old button collection. I dug around in my notions and found some 1/4″ hot pink ribbon, and away we went! It was a little difficult for Melody to get the needle through the holes, so I wound up doing that part, but we made two wonderful necklaces and proudly wore them out today during our shopping.

        

Part of our shopping was making a stop at Joanne’s (with coupons, of course) to pick up large plastic craft buttons, more 1/8″ ribbon, and a storage box for “Melody’s things.” We happily spent the afternoon sorting our buttons, and then making another necklace. This is also great practice at hand-eye coordination and small muscle skills.

Give it a try and find your inner jewelry designer at the same time. Your kids will enjoy it and if you are anything like me, you will lose the guilt over all those “extra buttons” that come with every blouse and shirt you buy. :-)

Book Review: The Dead Janitor’s Club

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Back when I had a MySpace account, I used to blog book reviews of the books I had read or listened to recently. I think I’ll continue this here, since I really want to talk about the book I just finished, The Dead Janitor’s Club by Jeff Klima.I was pleasantly suprised to find this book under the Christmas tree, and dove into it with eager anticipation of some gruesome war stories and possibly even a life-changing parable from the former crime scene cleaner.

This review may contain spoilers, so read on at your own risk.

I read it from cover to cover and did not find it boring in the slightest! Yes, there are gory details of crime scenes, suicides, and unattended deaths that resulted in long undiscovered bodies, ick. Yes, there are war stories of driving all over hell’s half acre from one job to another on very little sleep. It’s the story of a little company trying to establish itself in the brave new world of crime scene cleaning in Orange County, California. There were struggles, there were dry spells, there were tears, there were laughs, there was a tattoo.

But most of all, there was a complete lack of ethics.

Maybe it’s just me, but common sense tells me that cleaning up the remains of a deceased person would necessitate biohazard protections, insurance, licensing, bonding, etc. After all, these people were often left alone inside a deceased person’s home, with all their wordly posessions left available for anyones perusal. I was dismayed to find out that these so-called professionals (the business owner being an OC sherrif for heaven’s sake) took advantage of being left alone, and stole from the homes they were supposed to be cleaning. In cases of hoarder homes, they “never found” the cash relatives were certain was hidden through the home. They threw the bloody clean up materials in the dump rather than use a biohazard disposal service – to save money.

The writer of the book – Jeff Klima – was the sole employee for much of the company’s blessedly short life, and did the majority of clean up work. Supposedly this man was smart enough to go to college, but not smart enough to wear protective clothing when dealing with blood and bits of tissue or even when using dangerous chemicals. He was also not smart enough to respect that a crime scene that takes place inside a person’s home is their home first, crime scene second. He had no concern what so ever about using an expensive mink coat to try to soak up biohazardous materials at one scene. (No, it didn’t work and destroyed the thousand dollar garment) He stole an electric guitar and accessories from another home. He had no compunction charging more money based on a client’s ethnicity or appearance.

I think one aspect of the story that really bothered me was the author’s frequent digressions into his fraternity life at Cal State Fullerton – my alma mater. The events of the book took place in the 2000s, long after I left CSUF, but he had joined a fraternity that formed while I was still on campus – Sigma Nu. Oh how I pity the Sigma Nu chapter founders for having thier efforts destroyed by Klima and his associates. At the time I was in a sorority at CSUF, a fraternity famous for its hard partying and rule breaking ways had been suspended permanently, chapter closed – the infamous TKE house. It was the trigger to clean up fraternity row and sorority life at CSUF. There were non-alcohol policies installed at probably every house on campus, the Greek system embraced FIPG and tolerance, anti-hazing and ethical recruitment practices. The Sigma Nu chapter was founded by a group of gentlemen as far as I know. By the time Klima was a member of the house, they were apparently behaving on par with TKE back in its glory days. It was sad and pathetic, and had nothing to do with crime scene cleaning, so I’m not sure why it was even in the book. Maybe to illustrate how much of a degenerate pig he really was, I’m not sure.

The book finds Klima at a turning point in his life, no money, no job, no prospects, freeloading off his saint of a girlfriend, so what did he do? Did he call the head honcho over at the sherrif’s to express his concern about the conflict of interest with respect to his boss being on both sides of the crime? No, he just stopped returning his boss’s phone calls. Sure, he was young and people in their twenties do stupid things, but I guess I had hoped the big reveal at the end of the book would have been the sudden development of a conscience and some ethics. And no where in the book does he address the status of the property he stole from the many clients who trusted him to be in their homes. I hope it all burst into flames.

Ultimately, my take-away from this book is that death is a messy business that attracts the type of people willing to clean it up – at any price – and those people are sometimes not the professional, ethical, or respectable people you would hope to see on your doorstep after Uncle Fred has blown his head off in the garage. Some police agencies mandate that family or property owners call a “remediation” firm (crime scene cleaner) to handle some of the messier jobs because of the biohazard concerns. If you find yourself in this position – which I fervently pray you never will – take a minute to find out about the company you hire. It could save you thousands in expenses and tears of grief and anger if they try to rip you off.

Make a joyful noise!

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You hear it all around you: why are people so sad, disfunctional, angry, bombing, killing, selfish, greedy, ad infenitum. And yet, at the holidays, we are imbued with the spirit of giving, generosity, caring, helping, remembering that Christmas is about giving rather than receiving. I have often wondered why that happens. Why, one time a year, do people find the good and forget the bad? I think I may know part of the answer.

I’m not a deeply religious person, but I find that spirituality and God’s words can be reassuring and comforting. My friend says “God’s word is medicine for the soul.” Perhaps during this time of year as we listen to the Christmas carols – many of them hymns of praise to God – we become healed for a moment, dosed with God’s medicine for our souls.

Just the other night, I attended the symphony with my mother and sister. The music was gorgeous, uplifting, all encompassing. The devotion the musicians must put into their work, practicing hours on end to play the piece perfectly, the focus with which they concentrate on the music and the emotions and meaning behind the piece, all this suddenly became very clear to me. It is part of the answer.

In centuries past, people were filled with devotion and faith. It was part of their daily lives, a given that was accepted and expected across cultures, races and borders. The famous composers – Handel, Bach, Bethoven, et al – poured their devotion and their dedication into their work, their music, their operas and symphonies. The result is amazing, uplifting, and joyous music. It is healing and moving. Listen with your mind and your body, not just with your ears, and you will see, feel and hear the medicine. This was the music that people listened to, performed in their homes and sang at church, not the sometimes dischordant and negative music we hear on today’s radio. I’m not advocating giving up popular music, because don’t get me wrong, I love me some Maroon 5 and Weezer, but maybe find a way to bring classical music into your life once in a while. Going to the symphony is one way, and the ticket prices are surprisingly reasonable. The music will sound great no matter if you sit in the front or the last row of the cheap seats.

Psalm 98 says to us “make a joyful noise unto the Lord all the earth; make a loud noise, and rejoice and sing praise!” While you are singing Oh Holy Night, or Joy to the World! this season, listen to the words, hear them in your heart, sing them with the devotion with which they were written, and you may have that answer as well.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Using the Wilton Cookie Shape Pans Successfully

Posted in Baking by

Did you – like me – fall prey to the skillful marketing folks at Wilton? They had these cookie shape pans on sale at Target, Walmart, and elsewhere. Yes I bought them. Yes I was frustrated because they didn’t carry any instructions or even tips. Yes I was downright irritated that my first batch was awful. They overflowed the shape and were uncooked in the centers. I was disgusted with the whole thing. But since I am not the type to give up easily, I tried again.

So, in case you – like me – want to use these pans to spite Wilton, here are a few pointers. I used Pillsbury gingerbread dough, for no particular reason, just what I had on hand. The large batch of dough made about 36 cookies. Good luck!

1. bring your dough to room temperature if it’s refrigerated.

2. take a bit of dough, enough to make a 1″ ball, and make a ball.

3. press the dough ball into the center of the shape, then work outward into the nooks and crannies of the design. For the more oblong shapes, make a log out of the dough, the do the same as with the ball.

4. the dough should not fill the entire shape to the top. It needs room to expand, so fill it no more than 3/4 full.

5. bake as per your recipe’s instructions.

6. let cool 2-3 minutes after baking before trying to get them out of the pan. I had to use my fingernail to loosen the cookies.

7. once cooled, decorate. I used Betty Crocker Cookie Icing.

I may never use these pans again, but Wilton did not win! I successfully made cookies with their pans, and although they look nothing like the cookie examples on the Wilton site, they tasted fantastic. So there.  :-)  

Santa, I’d like…

Posted in Melody, Pictures by

This is a much better holiday photo session, probably because Melody knew that Santa could physically see her, lol. She’s somewhat uncertain about the whole “sees you when you’re sleeping, knows when you’re awake” business. Sometimes, Santa calls to check up on her, so she knows that somehow he’s finding out about her behavior, but she probably figures that her parents are ratting her out. Regardless, she was elated to see Santa and was a very good girl.

History lessons

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Sometimes my best work is in response to something I’ve seen or read elsewhere. Take this for example. How much information do you give your little kids about why we celebrate Christmas? In my house, it might go something like this…

“Well, now Melody, we celebrate the birth of Jesus on December 25th, even though he was probably born in September. Well, the Bible tells us that the shepherds were tending their flocks and that concluded at the end of summer. So we celebrate his birthday in December because a man called the Pope decided in 350 that since pagan religions had been celebrating their own holidays on December 25th for hundreds of years before Jesus was ever born, it was already a day of great celebration and it would be easier than establishing another celebration in September. No, I don’t know why he didn’t just make Christmas in September. They were called Yule and Saturnalia. No, I don’t know why they couldn’t continue celebrating their own holiday. Okay, back to the story. We put up a Christmas tree because it represents rebirth of the sun god, Yule, really, and early Christian leaders felt it was blasphemous, but people thought they were really pretty, so they just did what they wanted, and that’s been the tradition since the 1500s. Next, there was a really wonderful monk named Nicholas who gave gifts anonymously, and he was sainted and called St. Nicholas, but we can’t really talk about HIM because some people think he’s fake. Santa Claus? Well, he was a legend hundreds of years ago in The Netherlands who magically brought toys to good children and he was really called Sinterklaas, but again, we can’t talk about him because some people think that HE is fake too, when in reality his name is derived from St Nicholas and he’s thought to be based on the Norse god Odin. What honey? Yes, it’s all very confusing, let’s just go have some hot chocolate…”

Lessons learned

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I was inspired recently by Jill over at the Mom Blog, and her post about 11 things that ARE okay for a new mom. Let’s face it, no one knows exactly what to do when they have their first child, and friends of mine who are on their sixth child have said that each one brings new lessons. My mom famously commented that when asked how she would be raising her children, she whacked her fanny and said “by the seat of my pants!” It’s true, and no matter how you prepare, life always throws you a curveball, doesn’t it!? Jill’s post got me thinking about a few of the truisms I could write about parenting. Feel free to add any you like in the comments.

Just when you think you have her figured out, she will change everything on you. (This is actually Charlie’s but it’s so true!)

When something isn’t working it’s okay to change the deal and try a new approach.

Don’t be afraid to teach your child how to use the DVD player. Or the remote. Or the iPhone. Children are smart and need to know these basics now. If the DVD breaks, it’s not the end of the world.

A piece of candy before dinner isn’t going to spoil her appetite, but several pieces will. Anything left a month after Halloween should go straight in the trash (when she’s not looking).

Listen to her music and sing along. Know some of your own songs that she might like and teach them to her. All music doesn’t have to be muppets or cartoon characters singing.

Adapt some of your songs to help in teaching situations. We adapted Weezer’s Can’t Stop Partying to a potty song.

Watch her shows with her and even if it hurts, tell her how happy you are that Dora found the Woozy Wuzzle. 

Instead of extreme baby proofing, try just teaching your child the boundaries. For example, we did not remove our wine rack, we just taught her not to touch it. She still doesn’t. A baby proofing book advised we should have removed that item.

That brings me to baby advice books. They are not always correct. Take the advice and apply it to your situation as best as you can and throw out the stuff that doesn’t make sense for you. Don’t feel guilty about not following those books to the letter! Even Dr. Spock has admitted that not all children are created the same.

Ask your mother! Even if you disagree with some of the things your own parents did raising you, they have been through it, second guessed themselves, and come out the other side. 

The first time she says “I don’t love you!” in a terrible three temper tantrum, it will hurt as if she stabbed you in the heart. It’s okay to let it show that she hurt your feelings. Children are learning appropriate behavior and we are their teachers.

You don’t have to play with her every second of the day. Independent play is healthy and encourages creativity. You also don’t need to have every moment scheduled with an activity. We all need down time, even rambunctious and energetic kids.

Even if you child is potty trained, you should be prepared to help them clean up after the potty until they are about five years old. Flushable wipes will be your best friend.

We all know on some level that these days are short and pass all too quickly, so cherish the moments with your little ones. Before we know it, they will be all grown up and writing their own blogs!

I’m looking forward to…

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I was thinking this weekend about the funny little gifts that children give their parents, some of them so sweet, and others unusual. I can remember giving my mother an orange beaded coin purse that I bought at a boutique at school. It surely was a white elephant and my mom definitely gave me the money for it. I labored over the decision for hours, going back to the room where the boutique was several times through the day. The teacher’s aide who was staffing the room was so patient with me as I repeatedly changed my mind, but I finally bought the little purse. Thinking back on it, it probably cost a whole 25 cents, but my mother profusely thanked me for it and kept it for many years, although I don’t know if she still has it. It meant so much to me to be able to express to her how much I loved her and wanted to select the perfect present, and her cherishing that little purse confirmed to my little mind what I knew anyway – that she loved me. It was like that little purse became a symbol of our bond, and as long as she kept it, we would be close. To an 8 year old, that’s huge! Of course as an adult I don’t need an orange coin purse to confirm that (I love you Mommy!).

I am really looking forward to the little presents and expressions of love that Melody labors over for me and her Dad. Like I said, it was thinking about it over the weekend, and here are some of the things that came to mind as being in our future…

Origami paper balls

Flowers cut from the yard and wrapped with tin foil on the stem

Giving her money to buy me or Dad a little gift

Proudly displaying and using Hello Kitty salt & pepper shakers

Pictures of us drawn with abnormally large heads

Cootie catchers

Hair decorations made from Christmas bows

Home made potholders

Oddly created dinners with strange combinations of food

Love notes written in yellow ink that are impossible to read

Christmas gifts consisting of Post-it notes and Bic pens

Don’t they all sound wonderful!? What would you add to the list?

Things I am "so over"

Posted in Misc by

We all have that thing that just wears on our last nerve when it’s just over done, and at that point we become so over that thing. There are plenty of things that I am so over, and here are a few of them, in no particular order.

Michael Jackson, his family, his music, his videos and all things related to him and his famous weirdness. Just this morning I heard on the radio that someone is making a tribute movie or something like that. Guess what? The fans and maybe even a few converts will buy all that stuff if you let him be dead for a few years before you pillage his legacy. It’s called the nostalgia factor, but we have to actually miss the person first.

Classic rock. Yes, I love me some Van Halen and the Beatles are at least 10 hours of music in my iTunes. I’m talking to you Doors, Led Zepplin and Allman Brothers. And, music industry people, Ozzy, Poison and Motley are not classic rock. They are 80s rock. Somehow there is a distinction there.

CSI everywhere and Law & Order everything. Yes, I like crime and murder shows, and I admit to being addicted to Criminal Minds. I don’t know why CM is better than all the others, but it may have to do with lack of over saturation in the market. How many CSI and L&O programs are there anyway…like 20?

Vampire ripoffs. I am a dedicated Sookie Stackhouse book reader and True Blood show watcher. I’ll even allow some Twilight and Vampire Diaries because they have been around forever, same as Ann Rice and my old favorite Brian Lumley. But have you looked at the shelves of the “young adult books” at Target lately? They are filled with all sorts of weird vampire books that have solid black covers with an embossed tear drop or broken heart locket. Ugh.

Poop. There’s toddler poop once in a while still, plus there’s three animals in this house, two of which seem to lose their ability to “hold it” from time to time, and…well, anyway. I am So. Over. Poop.

Political advertising. Gone are the days when people had the time and made the effort to find out what the candidates stood for and made their own decision as to who to vote for. Seems like all we hear now is negative campaigning, e.g. one candidate points out the foibles of the other candidate, and no one really stumps on what they stand for, why they are going to be successful, and what kind of ethics they employ in their life. Rather than vote for the lesser of two evils, how about showing us why we should vote for you?

Rap music. When is this going away? I can’t even understand what they are saying most of the time. Wait, maybe that’s just me getting old. No, no I didn’t like it when it first came out and I was young then. And what is the deal with decorating your teeth with all that gold and stuff? Do they really think it looks good? Someone give these guys a mirror.

Celebrity divorces. Unfortunately, marriages don’t work out in some cases. it’s bad enough that these people have to go through the deep emotional train wreck that is divorce, but they have spouses calling up talk shows to give “their side of the story,” and they are expected to be glamorous/handsome, give great performances, and exude confidence. Why do we want to see celebrity divorces destroy the divorcees?

Well, I have to say that I feel so much better! Ranting over these things reminds me of how good my life really is. I can turn off the TV and radio when the music or shows I don’t like come on. I think I’m gonna go watch some Criminal Minds and have a glass of wine.