If you don’t watch True Blood, you can skip this rant.

An open letter to Alan Ball, director of True Blood, Sundays on HBO

SPOILERS IF YOU ARE NOT CAUGHT UP WITH EPISODE 9

Dear Mr. Ball,

What in the hell? We all knew you were going to move away from the storyline of the Sookie Stackhouse books, but did you really need to take the story this far away? There is a reason those books are so successful – the story lines are relatively simple. They are not confusing. They focus on the main character, Sookie Stackhouse. You are leaving after season five and if this show gets renewed after season six it will be a surprise, but Charlane Harris is working on book eleven. Seems she has a better grasp than you do on what makes the story of a mind reader-vampire-werewolf-magic-fairy-shifter world work.

Some of the changes you made were great – I love Lafayette! Jason didn’t turn into a were-panther! Franklin Mott was scary awesome!

But really, the extra story lines are not adding a thing to the show. I cannot tell you how many times I have watched an episode, only to feel like it was rushed, overly packed with tangled and unrelated scenes, and exhausting. Watching the previous week’s recap is a requirement these days just to get my bearings. This has been my main complaint since season 2. Can we all groan together: Maryann, ugh. Terry & Arlene? Don’t care. Sam & Luna? Detracts from the main story. Hoyt and the Obamas? Might possibly have contributed to the main story, but then we got Bud Dearborn at the end of it? WTH? Really, the best you could come up with was Bud Freakin Dearborn? And some fat chick we have never seen before and will never see again. /sarcasm/ Great story development there. /end sarcasm/ And really, was it necessary for JD to defeat Alcide? Part of what makes Alcide awesome is that he becomes the pack master and evolves into the great leader and ally he is meant to be….in the books.

Then there are the unresolved story lines that you have likely forgotten about and will just leave behind in the wake of your departure. Such as Jason’s beef with Kitch for using V. That was three seasons ago and Jason seems poised in the right position as a deputy sheriff to finally do something about it, but instead he’s chasing after his lost virginity. And just this season, there was Jesus’s crazy step-grandmother. Lafayette ran away from her like his ass was on fire but we will surely never see her again, because that’s the way you do things. What happens to her? 

Making groundbreaking TV, or even just interesting TV, is probably an exciting and difficult job, and I commend you for bringing these much beloved characters to the small screen. But Bill taking over the vampire Authority, and world politics on True Blood? This isn’t Game of Thrones; it’s okay for the story to stay inside a small ecosphere. It just seems ridiculous that Bill would experience some fanatical revelation and abandon mainstreaming after striving for years to make it work. His love for Sookie drove him to hold onto his humanity and in the flash of a fantasy he abandons it all for a religious calling? It was bad enough you made him King of Louisiana. I didn’t agree with it but I went with it. This is just dumb and (dare I say it) unrealistic in a completely unrealistic TV show.

Be brave and kill some major character…like Tara the vamp. After the hell you have put her through since season two, the best thing that could have happened to her would have been she died and came back as a ghost to haunt Lafayette. Or Arlene – she and Sookie aren’t even friends after book three, in fact I think Arlene is in prison. If I have to hear her whine “I got kids…” one more time I might just scream.

I laugh every week when I read reviews of the previous nights episode and they are filled with praise and “OMG” and other silly pandering. Let’s call it like we see it, folks. The show is lost and struggling. You don’t need to make the supporting characters more interesting. They are supporting characters. Where is the development of Sookie’s struggles or her coming to terms with being part-fairy? Where is the sexual tension between her, Bill and Eric? And what’s with her lightening hands? She did just fine with lemon juice, iron, wooden stakes and silver in the books. Quirky, but yeah, this is a world where vampires, werewolves and shape shifters are real so quirky defenses work there. Sigh.

One thing I do have to thank you for in season five… So far we haven’t had any man-man kissing.

My recommendation for the writers of season six is that they open on a close up of Pam, waking up and hearing Eric in the shower….I just had the strangest dream.

Sincerely,

A frustrated fan

I found this reprint in a book from 1975. Purportedly, this item was found in a demolished building in England. At the time, office workers were male and often times young men and boys filled some positions. With rules like these, the demands of modern business seem trivial. If you have ever felt like “the man” is holding you down, just be glad you aren’t in mid 19th century England!

Office Rules & Regulations – 1852 – Business name unknown

1. Godliness, Cleanliness and Punctuality are necessities of a good business.

2. This firm has reduced the hours of work, and the Clerical Staff will now only have to be present between the hours of 7 a.m. and 6 p.m. on week-days.

3. Daily prayers will be held each morning in the Main Office. The Clerical Staff will be present.

4. Clothing must be of a sober nature. The Clerical Staff will not disport themselves in raiment of bright colours, nor will they wear hose unless in good repair.

5. Overshoes and top-coats may not be worn in the office, but neck scarves and headwear may be worn in inclement weather.

6. A stove is provided for the benefit of the Clerical Staff. Coal and wood must be kept in the locker. It is recommended that each member of the Clerical Staff bring 4 pounds of coal each day, during cold weather.

7. No member of the Clerical Staff may leave the room without permission from Mr. Rogers. The calls of nature are permitted, and Clerical Staff may use the garden below the second gate. This area must be kept in good order.

8. No talking is allowed during business hours.

9. The craving of tobacco, wines and spirits is a human weakness and, as such, is forbidden to all members of the Clerical Staff.

10. Now that the hours of business have been drastically reduced the partaking of food is allowed between 11:30 a.m. and noon, but work will not, on any account, cease.

11. Members of the Clerical Staff will provide their own pens. A new sharpener is available, on application, to Mr. Rogers.

12. Mr. Rogers will nominate a senior Clerk to be responsible for the cleanliness of the Main Office and the Private Office, and all Boys and Juniors will report to him 40 minutes before Prayers and will remain after closing hours for similar work. Brushes, Brooms, Scrubbers and Soap are provided by the owners.

13. The New Increased Weekly Wages are as hereunder detailed:

Junior Boys (to 11 years) 1s. 4d.

Boys (to 14 years) 2s. 1d.

Junior Clerks 8s. 7d.

Senior Clerks (after 15 years with the owners) 21s. 0d.

The owners recognize the generosity of the new Labour Laws but expect a great rise in output of work to compensate for these near Utopian conditions.

As I was pumping gas this morning I happened to look around at the big advertisement out by the street listing the various prices for gas at the station I was using. $4.05, $4.15 and $4.25. (Yes, that in itself is a rip off.) But then I happened to glance at the gas pump itself. I was being charged $4.25 for my gas, even though I had selected the middle grade, which should have been $4.15.

When I went inside, expecting it to be a simple error, the clerk told me they charge more if you use a credit card. In teeny tiny writing on the sign there is a separate listing for credit card prices! He then rather rudely told me that every gas station is doing it, and turned away, which says to me that he knows it’s a rip off and didn’t want to face a paying customer any longer than he had to.

I suppose I had heard that some stations were offering a discount for cash prices, but this particular station advertised their cash prices prominently without really clarifying there was a different price for credit. Plus, the penalty for using a credit card is 10 cents per gallon! While some people might say that $1.30 isn’t much money, if you fill up once a week like me, that’s an additional $67.60 per year – another full tank of gas that I’m not getting. Taking that a step further, how many customers are paying the 10 cent penalty per day, per week, per month, per year….you see where I’m going with this. It’s just another way for this gas station to try to make a buck in a smarmy way.

They don’t need to worry about me though. I won’t be going there again, even if every other gas station is doing it. 

So yesterday the news was all abuzz with the word that President Obama presented Bob Dylan with a Medal of Freedom, the highest civilian honor in America. Every station covered how Obama was influenced by Dylan’s lyrics and musical stylings. Anyone who knows me knows I don’t really care for ‘ol Bob, so should not be surprised that I wanted to know who the other twelve recipients of America’s highest civilian honor were.

Madeline Albright, former Secretary of State and our first woman in that position

John Paul Stevens, a former Supreme Court justice

John Glenn, the first American to orbit the Earth and Senator from Ohio – kinda more important than Dylan in my book, why hasn’t he received this honor already???

Toni Morrison, one of the most influential authors of the previous 25-30 years

Dolores Huerta, cofounder of the National Farmworkers Association

John Doar, civil rights attorney in the 1960s who helped make it possible for Obama to become PoTUS in the first place

William Foege, former director of the CDC who worked tirelessly to eradicate smallpox, you know that one, like chicken pox on steroids that would kill indiscriminately? Yeah, he should have gotten this award long, long ago

Gordon Hirabayashi, who fought against the internment of Japanese Americans during World War II, are we seriously so lax in recognizing the importance of his efforts? 70 years? That’s just sad

Jan Karski, who survived the Holocaust and was among the first to share his experience in a concentration camp. Again, why such a long time to recognize the importance of his impact on the world?

Pat Summit, NCAA women’s basketball coach

Shimon Peres, President of Israel

And most importantly, a woman who has had profound and lasting impact not only on American girls but girls world wide:

Juliet Gordon Low, founder of the Girl Scouts

But what the news covers is that Bob Dylan was given an award for his music. That to me is the most sad and pathetic aspect of this whole ceremony. First, we don’t recognize or award some of these people for their incredible courage and impact on the world for more than 50 years, when we do it’s posthumous, and then the news doesn’t even make a comment on how their contributions helped make America what it is today.

So as an American, I say thank you to Juliet Gordon Low, Jan Karski, Gordon Hirabayashi, William Foege, and John Doar, some of the less glamorous honorees, yet to me the most important, and I’m sorry we didn’t thank you with this award sooner.

I was recently asked to do a guest blog post on a site I just love: The Museum of Ridiculously Interesting Things. I was delighted to do it because I love the site, and it turned out to be a mutual admiration arrangement because their site admin loves my blog Who Were They? So, the guest blog post is up and I hope you’ll take a second to read it, then browse around the Museum. It’s pretty awesome!

Once again I’m apologizing for not having had much to say in the previous month. I have a lot of great ideas to blog about…as I’m drifting off to sleep or driving home from work. Not really opportune moments to have a quick blogging moment!

We decided to thin down our stuff, getting rid of things we have have moved from one house to the next without ever really unpacking, things we do not need, don’t fit, are worn out, etc. It’s a good exercise and forces me to really consider the need/want motivation behind each item. My sewing room is the worst! It has become a catch-all for historical clothing, craft supplies, research books, and of course an unused crib. Don’t you keep one in your sewing/craft room? I have it listed on craigslist for sale but I doubt anyone is going to buy it. Honestly, it’s the third or fourth time I’ve listed it there with not one nibble. Last week we decided we were done with the ‘temporary’ dining set we bought of the former occupants of our house (in 2005!). I listed it for FREE on craigslist and the only response I got was someone wanting the chairs. Sigh…we wound up hauling the beast – it is very very heavy – out to our front lawn on Saturday morning. Not even 10 minutes into the project, the “free” sign not even hung up, someone was asking about it. Not 20 minutes later, the massive table, 8 chairs and two leaves were gone. We are very happy using our smaller table which gives us a lot more space in our kitchen!

So, if you know anyone who needs a really beautiful, gently used crib, I am selling one. Still. :-) 

The April resolution was to read to Melody 3 to 5 times a week. I think I might have hit 3 times a week. Although she loves chapter books, Melody hasn’t been very interested in the ones I tried on her. Alice in Wonderland was not a hit at all, which surprised me. I don’t remember how old I was when my mom read us the Narnia books, but it seems like they might be a little old for her. Anyway, we have been enjoying several books that Aunt Virginia gave to her last year – 365 Penguins, Bats at the Library and Beetle the Bard.

The March resoultion is still hanging in there. I walk 3-4 times a week most weeks. We had a lot of rain recently so that interrupted me, but for the most part I get in my walk whenever possible. I also still have been off fast food for two months, which is a huge accomplishment! The thought of it now is pretty gross and I hope that’s a mindset that stays with me forever. I might have fnally broken this addiction, fingers crossed!

May’s resolution is no TV 5 nights per week. That is really pretty stupid, lol. How about no TV 3 nights a week and if I make it to 5 that’s a bonus?

Well, I could have told you that the resolution I made for February was one of the stupidest resolutions I’ve ever made! You would think that breaking the fast food addiction would be mind over matter, but in reality, it was very difficult. It started with a pizza. Then I was caught out and so hungry, with the only option being fast food. I thought, well, I don’t have to get the worst thing on the menu or do this again. “It will be our dirty little secret, now won’t it…” Next thing you know, I had abandoned the resolution. I made it about two weeks.

The good news is that I have given up fast food again, because I want to. John and I both are on a very strict diet right now because we want to be healthy, so we have gone back to Jenny Craig. While I’m not a big fan of the food, it is better for us in the short term than the way we were eating, and we will definitely lose some weight! Before Melody was born, we both lost significant amounts of weight on JC so I know we can be successful again. The trick will be in keeping it off.

For the March resolution, I selected walking 20-30 minutes, 3-5 times a week. This will work pretty well because the weather is getting nicer all the time and I can walk during lunch breaks. I also count my walking while I grocery shop, because dammit I’m moving! Of course, I’m a week late in starting the resolution but this is one I will need to keep going for weight loss and general health.