This is Melody’s website as you know, but I have really taken it over as a general forum and blog for all my thoughts, not necessarily limited to Melody. I’m not sure how it evolved this way, maybe one day I felt like I had something to say that was related to Melody in the most remote way, or I hadn’t updated the site in ages and felt like I should put something new up here. I can’t really remember, but I’ve been asking myself the question lately “why do I do this?” when I don’t often write about Melody and her exploits.
I think I finally have the answer. It’s taken me a while because I’m a thinker, not a spontaneous, clever and quick-thinking person. Well, I’m clever, but I have to think about my cleverness and plot when I can use some trick of wit on the unsuspecting. Melody’s a good candidate here because she doesn’t understand when my clever jokes fall flat. She just laughs at me regardless of the level of real comedy and that boosts my ego somewhat. Someone asked me one time what superhero power I’d like to have and my response was “I’d be able to go back in time 5 minutes and say that funny thing I thought about 5 minutes after the moment passed.”
So after long deliberation – I think Dad asked me why I blog about nothing in particular at least three or four months ago while suggesting I get my own blog, hint hint – I have come to the conclusion that I blog here on Melody’s site because I want her to know what was going on in her life while she was growing up. I’d love to have a window onto my mother and father’s lives as children, maybe even just to see the family dynamics as they were growing up. I’ve heard lots of stories about Gram and Grandpa George and what they were like, and I have seen lots of pictures of them, but I didn’t know them very well, even though I wanted to know them. They were older and lived 3000 miles away from us, so Auntie Kat and I didn’t have the luxury of just dropping in for the afternoon on Saturday like Melody does with her grandparents. I feel the same about Grammie Hennie and Grandpa Jim (who was my Dad’s stepdad, I didn’t ever meet Grampie at all). I loved visiting with them and they lived a little longer so I was able to know them as an adult, but still, I didn’t know them as well as I’d like to have. I don’t know what they were like as parents, neighbors, aunts and uncles, friends. I don’t know if my parents were model children or hell raisers. I don’t know what their school experiences were really like, only the few things they might have shared with me, and I don’t know what their thoughts were as new parents in the late 60s. Apply this to all my aunts & uncles, cousins and other relatives, and you might get the picture. We live on the left coast while the rest of our family is on the East coast (like how I didn’t call it the “right” coast, ha ha?).
And that is why I blog here and not necessarily about Melody all the time. I want Melody to have this record of what her parents and family were thinking, feeling and doing while she was growing up. My mom suggested that I print these blogs out for Melody and I will at some point. Currently we have it backed up regularly, so there’s no fear of losing anything in a disaster of electronic proportions. Moreso, I have always been a bit introspective, thinking and writing is a great outlet for me. I can go back over what I write and change it around and tweak it until it feels perfect to me, something I can’t do verbally.
This is my legacy for Melody: a record of her mother’s thoughts and activities, usually involving Melody, with love and hope and all the crazy mixed up fears and worries of motherhood all rolled in for good measure.
Thanks for reading!