This is Melody’s website as you know, but I have really taken it over as a general forum and blog for all my thoughts, not necessarily limited to Melody. I’m not sure how it evolved this way, maybe one day I felt like I had something to say that was related to Melody in the most remote way, or I hadn’t updated the site in ages and felt like I should put something new up here. I can’t really remember, but I’ve been asking myself the question lately “why do I do this?” when I don’t often write about Melody and her exploits.
I think I finally have the answer. It’s taken me a while because I’m a thinker, not a spontaneous, clever and quick-thinking person. Well, I’m clever, but I have to think about my cleverness and plot when I can use some trick of wit on the unsuspecting. Melody’s a good candidate here because she doesn’t understand when my clever jokes fall flat. She just laughs at me regardless of the level of real comedy and that boosts my ego somewhat. Someone asked me one time what superhero power I’d like to have and my response was “I’d be able to go back in time 5 minutes and say that funny thing I thought about 5 minutes after the moment passed.”
So after long deliberation – I think Dad asked me why I blog about nothing in particular at least three or four months ago while suggesting I get my own blog, hint hint – I have come to the conclusion that I blog here on Melody’s site because I want her to know what was going on in her life while she was growing up. I’d love to have a window onto my mother and father’s lives as children, maybe even just to see the family dynamics as they were growing up. I’ve heard lots of stories about Gram and Grandpa George and what they were like, and I have seen lots of pictures of them, but I didn’t know them very well, even though I wanted to know them. They were older and lived 3000 miles away from us, so Auntie Kat and I didn’t have the luxury of just dropping in for the afternoon on Saturday like Melody does with her grandparents. I feel the same about Grammie Hennie and Grandpa Jim (who was my Dad’s stepdad, I didn’t ever meet Grampie at all). I loved visiting with them and they lived a little longer so I was able to know them as an adult, but still, I didn’t know them as well as I’d like to have. I don’t know what they were like as parents, neighbors, aunts and uncles, friends. I don’t know if my parents were model children or hell raisers. I don’t know what their school experiences were really like, only the few things they might have shared with me, and I don’t know what their thoughts were as new parents in the late 60s. Apply this to all my aunts & uncles, cousins and other relatives, and you might get the picture. We live on the left coast while the rest of our family is on the East coast (like how I didn’t call it the “right” coast, ha ha?).
And that is why I blog here and not necessarily about Melody all the time. I want Melody to have this record of what her parents and family were thinking, feeling and doing while she was growing up. My mom suggested that I print these blogs out for Melody and I will at some point. Currently we have it backed up regularly, so there’s no fear of losing anything in a disaster of electronic proportions. Moreso, I have always been a bit introspective, thinking and writing is a great outlet for me. I can go back over what I write and change it around and tweak it until it feels perfect to me, something I can’t do verbally.
This is my legacy for Melody: a record of her mother’s thoughts and activities, usually involving Melody, with love and hope and all the crazy mixed up fears and worries of motherhood all rolled in for good measure.
Thanks for reading!
4 thoughts on “Why do I do this?”
Totally Cool!! I know exactly how you feel.
This is totally unrelated but it wonderd through my mind. Way back when, in the olden days, Marie Calendar’s was young and they printed this saying on their napkins: Apple Pie with out some cheese is like a kiss with out a squeeze. There you have it. Now back to your regularly scheduled day…
I think that was at Hamburger Hamlet. I always saved the napkin if possible because I liked the little saying.
This is a rather delayed comment – being that I have been vacationing. When we were young, and the opportunity came to get away from Erie, I jumped on the marriage wagon, without a thought of having children, let alone having them in Erie where my parents would be able to be part of the kids lives. All three of us moved away – that is where the opportunities were and also the love of my life. So be it. Moving to Rochester was OK, in that it was only 4 hours away – by train and Grammie and Grampie were only 30 miles away. Then on to Connecticut for PaPa’s future at Farrel. Then when the opportunity presented itself to move to California and be part of the west coast sales team I really didn’t have a choice. I was told we were were moving. So be it. I grew up with my Grandmother Sternberg a few blocks away. My other grandmother (Brewer) died when I was five. We never did anything much with the Brewer Uncles – they had moved away too. Both grandfathers had passed away years prior. My Aunt Marnie and Uncle Bob (Sternbergs) were a mile or so away and the Kirks, Aunt Mernie and Uncle John were two hours away by car over slow two-lane roads. But we did get together regularly for holidays etc. However, having my children so far away I really, at times, missed the closeness of the family. I always did feel that when we did get back to visit, they cousins were pretty much all there, the brothers would come up to Erie, and I felt very secure in the fact that even though we were far apart for most of the time, that when we were together we were family. Always family, and you were accepted because you were family. This same situation presented itself again, only recently, when I had told Margie that I wanted to help her to clear out the stuff from the house after Uncle Chuck died, and Aunt Mary had to go to assisted living. Ed and Virginia got wind of the fact I was to be there and asked if they would come and help. Also Don and Jean Kirk (cousins) asked if they could be of assistance, and they were assured that all hands would be welcome. We not only worked very diligently to go through everything in the basement, but by 5:00 it was cocktail time, and showers all around and dinner out. We all agreed that it was necessary to help Margie, but we got a lot of catching up on various aspects of the family and the children, and grandcuildren. PaPa’s family is pretty much the same. I see it now in the cousin’s Christmas reunion. Well I’ve gone on forever, didn’t mean to add so much, but there was much to say. I hope that when you have grown up you will at least have your wonderful Mommy and Daddy, and of course Auntie. Love, Gramma