Please, please, please do not send your kids to school sick. We have just made it through our second bout of stomach flu and I am done with that, thank you very much! I realize that we can’t always be sure whether little Susie is sick or just cranky, and there are definitely those times when Bobby feels fine in the morning and is projectile vomiting by naptime. I get it; I really, really do. But I also realize that we all feel the pressures from work to be on time and the pressures from home to “bring home the bacon,” and that may lead some to think that it’s no big deal to drop their kids off at school knowing they will be heading home early to pick up the sick one.

Dear parents, if you find yourself tempted to do that, know this. I will hunt you down and lather you in Lysol, make you come over to my house and clean up the carpets which have absorbed liquids that do not belong on them, and then I will make you drink syrup of ipecac so you can feel my pain.

Love,

Me

PS if your kids don’t go to my kid’s preschool, heed the aforementioned warning but realize the punishment may be much harsher coming from someone else.

PPS DON’T TAKE YOUR KIDS TO SCHOOL SICK!!