I do not like them, Sam I am

One of Melody’s latest favorites to read is the book Green Eggs and Ham by Dr. Seuss. We read this most nights before bed, adding in the appropriate funny voices for either Sam or his erstwhile victim. Melody loves it and knows several bits and will “read” along with me. This book, for those who lived in a hole during their childhood, is the story of a fellow minding his business reading the newspaper who is suddenly accosted by Sam, a green eggs and ham promoter. Sam arrives in the unnamed victim’s life on the back of a dog, asking if his mark like’s green eggs and ham, then hounding him throughout the story, stalking him and brow beating him until the poor soul finally breaks down and eats green eggs and ham. GREEN EGGS AND HAM, people!

I can recall as a kid reading this book and really resenting Sam for his persistence in forcing this innocent guy to eat green eggs and ham. Not just green eggs, but green ham. Ick! My heart went out to the unnamed pawn in this green food conspiracy. Frankly, even in kindergarten I knew deep in my soul that meat products should not be green. Veggies, sure, even some fruits are green, but fowl and pork products? I think not. And on that deeper level I felt it was just wrong for Sam to continue with his ridiculous quest for green food domination when this poor martyr clearly stated on numerous occasions that he did not like green eggs and ham. I related to this sentiment, for I too despised many green foods and did not want to eat them, either.

Without completely spoiling the ending for those of you who haven’t read it, let me just say that should you be accosted by a furry fellow riding a dog and holding a sign that reads “I am Sam” in one hand and a plate of neon green fried eggs and a ham in the other, RUN!

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