John’s cousin Jim said on our wedding video “be happy, just be happy.” At the time I thought “duh, of course we will be happy!” unlike every other newly married couple watching their wedding video, right? Just 3 short years later, Jim had unexpectedly passed away, but his brief message really stuck with me. Being happy is a committment in itself, a state of mind, an attitude you can adopt and maintain. I considered the many happy days that John and I have had together in the 10 years since we met and the 5 years we have been married and I can confidently say that our happiest days were the product of us both wanting to be happy.
That is not to say that we have never not had a happy day. When I was pregnant, hormones were making me crazy and any little mistake he made was amplified far out of control, and you know what happens when a prego mama gets out of control. For those of you who don’t really know, screaming and crying happens. Not pretty. But for all that screaming and crying while I was pregnant, I really can’t think of too many times that John and I have not really been happy. We have been bored, mad, annoyed, angry, irritated and frustrated had our moments. We are normal. Hurray! Being unhapy with someone is different from being unhappy in your demeanor. It’s okay to be unhappy with someone, with a situation, and with the way things are going in your life, for example, but if you can maintain your happiness in general, you might find it a bit easier to get past the rough spots. And when you have someone with you to be happy with, the rough spots don’t seem all that bad. Particularly once you are in fact, past them.
We both like to be happy and we each like the other to be happy. Whether it takes a glass (bottle) of wine to make us relax, or just the conscious effort to put aside our extreneous frustrations, being with my husband, and of course my family, is much more rewarding when we are both happy. The other day a friend sent me a little “happy spring” note that said:
Don’t put off your happy life
“Be happy, just be happy!”
This post is for the Proposal 2.0 hosted at The Glamorous Life Association. Please visit GLA to read some other great stories on love, life and marriage.