My darling, clever child, Melody. Let me explain something to you. When Mommy steps outside to get the mail, you must not shut the front door, no matter how funny it is. No matter how much enjoyment you may derive from the sound of the door slamming or the sound of the screen jiggling, you must not shut the door.

As I’m sure you’ve guessed, dear reader, Melody locked Mommy out of the house on Friday night. Mommy was in a bit of a panic at first, trying to remember if any of the windows downstairs were open. Of course not. How about the back door? No, definitely locked. We have not yet put a hide-a-key outside. I just stepped out 10 feet to get the mail, and then stood there in disbelief after hearing that cute little giggle and then “SLAM” as the door shut. You see, we have those doorknobs that always feel unlocked inside but are actually locked outside.

So, over to the neighbor’s I went, hoping they might have some clever idea of how to get into my house. They are wonderful, handy people, always working on their house and doing projects, surely they will know what to do! Maybe they even have a set of lock picks just sitting around collecting dust, waiting to be used! Okay, that’s an exaggeration. Maybe, just maybe they’ll know how to open one of my windows.

Caroline nodded sympathetically, saying “Oh, my son did that to me once…”

Michael tried the credit card trick.

By phone, John told us to break out one of the windows in the back door. We’ve been wanting to replace that darn thing anyway… Poor Dad was 18 miles away stuck in traffic.

Smart, clever Caroline called the Auto Club. They came, opened my car, I opened the garage door, and went inside to find Melody playing in the living room. Happy as a lark, unaware of Mommy’s panic for the past 20 minutes or so.

Needless to say, we will be investing in a good hide-a-key. Or two.